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Back Seat Driver?
Top Ten Ways to Get Rid of Your Farrier
Best Errors in Horse Ads
from Sue LaFlamme
 Cooked semen available
 Rider must sell: horse going to college. [How much is tuition for a horse starting college?}

 Welsh filly, pretty head & eye. Just stared over fences. 

 Willingly piaffes & massages

A Horse's View of the World
from Sue LaFlamme

Dressage

Process by which some riders can eventually be taught to respect the bit.

Are you a Dressage-Aholic? 
How would you Tell?  Addicted to dressage? You're not alone.

Are you a Horse-Aholic?
On the first day, God created the Horse ......
from Terry Ciotti Gallo, Author Unknown
The Real, True and Unexplained Rules of Dressage
from Gail Schnars & Sarah Patrick, Author Anon. 

If you fall off your horse in the arena you will have paid to have the test videoed.
Pop Quiz from Hunter & SportHorse
Which of the following are NOT the names of real dressage shows? 
It's too hot for a blanket! 
Es ist zu heiss für eine Decke.
German for the Dressage Horse
by Diana Caro & Valerian a.k.a. Ryan

 

Equine Etiquette
from Lita Dove, Author Anon. 
Nuzzling.  Humans like to be nuzzled by a clean nose, so be sure to nuzzle your human right after a drink.  
Horse 1.0
from Heather Burke, Author Anon.
Recently I purchased and installed Horse 1.0. I soon noticed that  this program appears to have numerous glitches. For instance, every  time my computer boots up, I have to run Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1. Many times I've been in the middle of writing an important document, and a window will flash telling me to run Clean Stall 2.0. This program also contained applications I did not wish to install, such as Manure 8.5, however they auto-installed with Horse 1.0.
How Many Riders Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb? 
from Lita Dove, Author Anon.
Natural Horseman ...You must instill respect in the light bulb, so that it sees you as the Alpha light bulb, using "light bulb dynamics" (video available at $99.00 on my Website).  Once you have done this, you will find that there is really no need to change the light bulb at all,
.....
God Created the Horse
from Heather Burke, Author Anon.
On the second day of creation,
God created Man to serve the Horse.

Hunter & Sport Horse
Top 10
Proposed Rule Changes
10 1/2.  If a rider absolutely must answer his cell phone during his dressage test, he must have call waiting so the judge can ring through to tell him he's off-course.
7. White breeches may not be worn after Labor Day
Top Ten Spook List
from Mary Green, Author Anon. 
4. Ropes and Hoses on the Ground
"Dreaded North American trail snakes."
Circle Flies
Claudia Garner, Horrell Hill
Things I've Learned from the Easter Bunny
Claudia Garner, Horrell Hill
Walk softly and carry a big carrot
Beet Pulp Safety Warning a.k.a. 
The Famous Squirrel Story
© Susan Evans Garlinghouse, MS
Equine Nutrition and Research Geek
However, eventually I knew the true downside to beet pulp would show up, and thought it only fair that I pass it along...

Classical Form on a Bucking Horse
Sent by Mary Green Author:  Anon.
There is a definite "classical " method one should strictly follow while one's horse is bucking.
Computer Error Messages
Sent by Bernie Kahn, compiled by Quoteland.com
Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
Your Daily Zen I
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. 
Your Daily Zen II
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. 
Your Daily Zen III
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 
Sent by Sue Laflamme

How to Photograph a Foal
Sent by Beth Glass Got Milk Photo by Woodridge Farm
6. Coax foal into pre-focused spot and return to camera.
7. Find foal again.
Ten Signs That Martha Stewart Has Been To Your Barn
Sent by Beth Glass
The carrot and apple treats have been cut out with cookie cutters

How Many Horses Does It Take To Change A Light-bulb?
Sent by Terry Ciotti-Gallo
Thoroughbred:
Just one. And he'll rewire the whole barn.  

Want to know how.......
Author Helen Dilworth, Trilogy Farm, Santa Cruz, CA.  Sent by Pat Orman
Want to know how to induce labor in your mare?  
Take a nap.
Ten Signs Your Dressage Test Needs More Work
from Michael Matson
Your serpentine was perfect, except that it was supposed to be a straight centerline.
Ten MORE Signs Your Dressage Test Needs More Work
from Michael Matson
The judge asks you take the broken letters with you when you leave.
 ~____(\
   |>   |>
Horsicons
from Terry Ciotti Gallo
The Amazing Dressage Test and The Rest of the Story

 

 

Share your original horsey humor with us
post on our Humor Discussion Forum or
email KyraBeth@DressageUnLtd.com

 

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