10 1/2. From now on, the
rider who spends the most money at the mobile tack store wins.
10. If a rider
absolutely MUST answer his cell phone during his dressage
test, then he is required to have call waiting, so the judge can ring
through to tell him he's not winning.
9. It should
be illegal to x-ray other riders' heads to see if they can really be as
dumb as they seem.
8. AHSA and
USET have to conduct a cut-throat game of rock-paper-scissors right
now to decide who's in charge, once and for all.
7. At the
next Olympics, horses who cross-entered synchronized swimming can use
their swim scores as qualifying scores for the individual dressage
freestyle.
6. You
don't have to own your mount to ride in Amateur Owner; you only have
to own the financial institution where the horse's owner keeps all of
her money.
5. White
breeches may not be worn after Labor Day.
4. No eating
Cheez-Doodles near gray horses. That orange dust never comes
out.
3. Bay horses
who call roan ponies 'roany-baloney' and make them cry, shall be
reprimanded for unsportsmanlike behavior.
2. Before you
can own a horse, you have to keep two of these entities alive (but not
necessarily healthy) for at least a year: houseplant, cat, bacteria, pet
rock or cockroach.
And the best proposed
rule modification for Horse Shows:
At very rainy shows, you have to wait an hour after
eating before going into the ring.
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